I made it! My goal was one day, and now I'm on day 2. Baby steps. But, here I am, sick and tired (literally) because I have slept terribly for the past two nights. I don't know if it is the cold I have or if it is the patch and the disbanding of a habit. All I know is...I'm beat.
Other than that, I feel damn good about myself. I don't even want one. I'm even drinking a cup of coffee. :) I found that having a bottle of icy cold water nearby for times when you do want a cigarette really really helps keep your mouth busy. If anyone has used the patch before...did it make your face flush from time to time? Everyone keeps telling me my face is red, but it goes away. I don't know.
So, woot woot! Day 2! I'm sure I will be writing more entries like the one yesterday entitled "aaaaahhhhh". Writing that really did help quite a bit. Onwards!
Showing posts with label smoking cessesion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label smoking cessesion. Show all posts
Monday, January 7, 2008
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Aaaaahhhh
Ok, so this sucks. My brain is trying to convince me in any way possible that it would be ok to just have one cigarette. I have literally run out of stuff to keep me busy with, and I am hoping that actually typing this out will make me realize just how stupid it is. I can't NOT think about smoking, because I keep trying to not think about smoking. I've chewed through two packs of gum today just to keep myself busy. I've also sucked down a handful of candy canes. I am so lame. But, I still haven't had a cigarette. I can't even imagine what it must feel like without the patch. I think I'd lose my mind. Or just smoke. But I'm not going to, because I want to quit. Wait, I have quit. I quit. Done. Here's some reasons why I quit smoking...
Money. Every smoker (and ex-smoker) knows just how much this stupid habit costs. Between my husband and myself, we smoked 3 to 4 packs a day. I did say between us, right? Anyway, at minimum each pack costs $4.50, here in PA anyway. So, yeah what does that equal a day? Um...at 3 packs a day that's $13.50 and at 4 packs that's $18. ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! A DAY PEOPLE! How stupid is that? Do calculating on the high end, because let's face it...it was probably closer to two packs each than 1.5 anyway. Whatever...For a week, that's $126. For a month, that's $504. For a year, that's...ready for this? ...You sure? ....$6,048! My husband and I might have well just exchanged our 1's, 5's and 20's in for some hundred dollar bills and just smoked them instead. I STILL can't believe how much money that is!!!! It makes me MAD!
Other than money (which was the catalyst for all of this, sadly), I promised my mom that I would quit for her birthday. I know it means a lot to her, and I'm fed up with it. So, in a month...Happy Birthday Mom! :P
Also, there is the health issue. I've known that smoking was messing up my lungs since I started smoking 13 years ago. I get pneumonia from any cold, and I cough all the time. It is time to let the healing begin. :) I want to kick box, I want to run, I want to have sex without getting winded (Yeah, that's pretty sad, right? And I'm not overweight...it is all the lungs), I want my house to not smell like smoke, I want my husband to quit so he will be healthy and live for a long long long time, I want to get better sleep, I want to whiten my teeth because smoking made them yellowy, I want my mind to be stronger than my body and have the willpower to say "%@*# you cigarettes!", I want my mom to be happy, I want my cats to be healthy, I want to stick it to the corporations and healthcare industry...you ain't getting me mofo's! See all these reasons? You know what's great about ranting like this? I don't want a cigarette now. :) Stay tuned for more nonsense. Probably in a few hours.
Money. Every smoker (and ex-smoker) knows just how much this stupid habit costs. Between my husband and myself, we smoked 3 to 4 packs a day. I did say between us, right? Anyway, at minimum each pack costs $4.50, here in PA anyway. So, yeah what does that equal a day? Um...at 3 packs a day that's $13.50 and at 4 packs that's $18. ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! A DAY PEOPLE! How stupid is that? Do calculating on the high end, because let's face it...it was probably closer to two packs each than 1.5 anyway. Whatever...For a week, that's $126. For a month, that's $504. For a year, that's...ready for this? ...You sure? ....$6,048! My husband and I might have well just exchanged our 1's, 5's and 20's in for some hundred dollar bills and just smoked them instead. I STILL can't believe how much money that is!!!! It makes me MAD!
Other than money (which was the catalyst for all of this, sadly), I promised my mom that I would quit for her birthday. I know it means a lot to her, and I'm fed up with it. So, in a month...Happy Birthday Mom! :P
Also, there is the health issue. I've known that smoking was messing up my lungs since I started smoking 13 years ago. I get pneumonia from any cold, and I cough all the time. It is time to let the healing begin. :) I want to kick box, I want to run, I want to have sex without getting winded (Yeah, that's pretty sad, right? And I'm not overweight...it is all the lungs), I want my house to not smell like smoke, I want my husband to quit so he will be healthy and live for a long long long time, I want to get better sleep, I want to whiten my teeth because smoking made them yellowy, I want my mind to be stronger than my body and have the willpower to say "%@*# you cigarettes!", I want my mom to be happy, I want my cats to be healthy, I want to stick it to the corporations and healthcare industry...you ain't getting me mofo's! See all these reasons? You know what's great about ranting like this? I don't want a cigarette now. :) Stay tuned for more nonsense. Probably in a few hours.
Day 1
As of 6:22 pm, I still have not had a cigarette today. Woooooo! I am "cheating" with the patch, but I really don't know how I would deal without at least the drug. I figure, kick the habit, then kick the drug. I am way too programmed to smoke at certain times of day, after certain activities, after eating, after doing anything really. So, yeah. I have to say the patch really takes that horrible horrible craving away and just leaves you with really really bored hands and mouth.
So, I have to entertain the hands and the mouth otherwise I will just want to smoke. I got a shitload of gum, candy canes that were 90% off (gotta love that), and I've been keeping myself busy. Things are going well. I really wish I didn't have to use the patch, because I really do feel like I'm cheating. But, that part will come later after I don't automatically reach for the cigarettes when I get in my car or whatever. I even drove for 3 hours today (birthday party back home) and didn't have one cigarette. I chewed my gum furiously for awhile, then destroyed some candy canes. I can't imagine what I must have looked like with a candy cane sticking out of my mouth while driving. Pretty silly.
I'm going to bed early tonight to fight off whatever stupid ritual I have late at night. I always had to have one right before bed, so I have to kick that. I hope the patch doesn't make my sleep uber crappy again tonight. I had the worst sleep ever last night.
Here's to Day 2!
So, I have to entertain the hands and the mouth otherwise I will just want to smoke. I got a shitload of gum, candy canes that were 90% off (gotta love that), and I've been keeping myself busy. Things are going well. I really wish I didn't have to use the patch, because I really do feel like I'm cheating. But, that part will come later after I don't automatically reach for the cigarettes when I get in my car or whatever. I even drove for 3 hours today (birthday party back home) and didn't have one cigarette. I chewed my gum furiously for awhile, then destroyed some candy canes. I can't imagine what I must have looked like with a candy cane sticking out of my mouth while driving. Pretty silly.
I'm going to bed early tonight to fight off whatever stupid ritual I have late at night. I always had to have one right before bed, so I have to kick that. I hope the patch doesn't make my sleep uber crappy again tonight. I had the worst sleep ever last night.
Here's to Day 2!
Countdown to Day 1
Ok, so I had to make this official somehow. And this way, I can laugh at how ridiculous I was when I was quitting. See? I'm already referring to it as already passed. Haha! Take that!
I think I'm prepared. I have the patch (it helped me when I tried to quit before), lollipops, gum, pens, fingernails, and my trusty back up...crochet. I remembered last time that I tried to quit, I decided to try it without using the patch...just cold turkey. I was halfway out of my mind 15 minutes after I woke up that morning. :( So...I put on the patch. It really took away that eyeballs getting fuzzy feeling when you really want a cigarette. I already know that coffee is going to be a problem. I bought some tea to try instead, but man...I need my coffee in the morning. Tea usually doesn't cut it.
I don't know of anything else to have as a distraction. Or back up. I think I covered all my bases. I made sure all edible distractions were fat free...they are packed with sugar, but they are perfect for a replacement. Plus, I am in the early stages of a cold, and that horrible cough is sure to show up at some point. That will make me even gladder that I'm quitting. Ugh. No matter how mild the cold, I always get a cough that developes into pneumonia. Hence quitting smoking. I physically need to. My husband is excited about quitting because of all the money we'll save. Like TONS. We both smoke at least a pack and a half a day. At 4.50 a pop that gets pretty freaking ridiculous, pretty freaking fast.
I am really nervous about what will happen with my temper. I am already a freak out at the drop of a hat, so I am kinda scared about what I'll be like without cigarettes. I already told my husband that whatever I say I cannot be held responsible for during the first two weeks. So, yeah. I'm sure he can't wait either. :P
So, countdown it is. Having my last cigarette ever. Right. Now. And it really isn't that great.
I think I'm prepared. I have the patch (it helped me when I tried to quit before), lollipops, gum, pens, fingernails, and my trusty back up...crochet. I remembered last time that I tried to quit, I decided to try it without using the patch...just cold turkey. I was halfway out of my mind 15 minutes after I woke up that morning. :( So...I put on the patch. It really took away that eyeballs getting fuzzy feeling when you really want a cigarette. I already know that coffee is going to be a problem. I bought some tea to try instead, but man...I need my coffee in the morning. Tea usually doesn't cut it.
I don't know of anything else to have as a distraction. Or back up. I think I covered all my bases. I made sure all edible distractions were fat free...they are packed with sugar, but they are perfect for a replacement. Plus, I am in the early stages of a cold, and that horrible cough is sure to show up at some point. That will make me even gladder that I'm quitting. Ugh. No matter how mild the cold, I always get a cough that developes into pneumonia. Hence quitting smoking. I physically need to. My husband is excited about quitting because of all the money we'll save. Like TONS. We both smoke at least a pack and a half a day. At 4.50 a pop that gets pretty freaking ridiculous, pretty freaking fast.
I am really nervous about what will happen with my temper. I am already a freak out at the drop of a hat, so I am kinda scared about what I'll be like without cigarettes. I already told my husband that whatever I say I cannot be held responsible for during the first two weeks. So, yeah. I'm sure he can't wait either. :P
So, countdown it is. Having my last cigarette ever. Right. Now. And it really isn't that great.
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